DEALING WITH EXTERNAL PRESSURES

A lot of people are under pressure of what to eat, what to wear, who to date or get married to.
Matt.6.31 – Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

Have you clocked a certain age still single and then your family and friends are starting to worry for you? Well guess what? It’s normal, it is not peculiar to you alone. This phase you’re currently in? Some people went through it too

You are young and almost all your friends are in a relationship, they keep posting and chilling and it’s starting to look like oppression? Guess what again? It is normal
Look, it’s normal for people to try to talk you into being in a relationship, sometimes it’s out of their love for you.

Look, never go into a relationship because your friends are in it or because you feel time is not on your side and then you make hasty decisions, calm down. You’ll eventually get married and have that wonderful relationship, but if you take any hasty decision, you might end up regretting it and wishing you were single and by that time? Trust me, you are on your own.

So what do you do?
Matt.6.33 – But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Trust the process, God loves you and he knows you need a spouse, he was the one who instituted marraige and marraige is to be enjoyed not to be endured, trust that God is preparing the best for you.
See all these emotional compability with a guy that others are having now and you feel you’re missing out? You will still have them but it’s best if it’s with the right person. Just like ive written in my previous post, take time to develop yourself, you are having these craves because you are not busy, get busy developing yourself. Truth is, if you are a person of purpose and impact, trust me they will rush you. So your priority is to live the best of your life with or without a spouse.
I know you’re old enough but do you have all it takes? If yes, then trust me on this, God is bringing the best your way. Don’t give in to pressure, be at peace within yourself. Loving yourself and trusting God. Truth is, if you rush in, you might rush out.

Do you want to enjoy your marriage? Have you seen the life of some married people you admire? Then calm down, none of them got there by rushing or being under pressure. Take your time to look at the lives of these people, read their books, watch their videos and learn

How then do you deal with external pressure
° Be at peace within yourself, build a defense mechanism against wrong pressure

° Trust God and His word, trust that God is bringing the best for you. “all things work together for good to them that loves God and to them that are called according to HIS purpose”

Thank you for reading, please like and share if you were blessed. And also subscribe to my blog, thank you for your encouragement.

You can also follow me on my social media handle @obayemi_esther on Instagram.

#theheirs #httptheheirs #single

Why are you single?

‘Note that, the words in thisarticle are 100% my handwritten words. No form of plagiarism’

How long have you been single? How much longer do you hope to be single? And what are you doing as a single?

Single life is a period of a person’s life before the vows of marriage, this implies that as long as you are not married or engaged, you are still a single even if you have a boyfriend.
The period of being single is a very important period of a man’s life, many people see being single as being lonely but that is not true if you utilize it, the fact that you are single does not mean you are lonely, you are just busy building yourself. Being single is a time where you have all your time to yourself, you are not committed to anyone, you can choose what to do and where to go, it is a period to develop yourself and get better. I always have something in mind “what Is the point of rushing or being under pressure, when eventually I’ll get married, no matter how long it looks like, but if I rush things and give in to pressure, I might end up not enjoying tat relationship or marriage and start wishing I was single agan” so maximize your single life and build yourself, build a name for yourself.

In my previous post, I wrote on three reasons why you are still single, there is a crave to be in a relationship or get married mostly because other people are in a relationship, it get so funny when you even see younger ones I’m a relationship and the crazy things we see on social media today fuels the hunger to be in a relationship.

But now, why are you single?
You are single not because something is wrong with you but because God is working on you. Today we have lots of failed marriages and relationships and this is because these people were not properly trained before jumping into it, butterflies are not enough to sustain marriage, grow up!

Why are you craving to be in a relationship?
Its mostly because of what you see, you also want to enjoy and have that feeling of being loved, calling someone and ending the call with ‘I love you’, wearing couple clothing, take selfies and all. These are good but that’s not everything there is to being in a relationship.
Yours could be because you feel time is not on your side anymore. Bros, Sisto, calm down!

What to do as a single?
Being single is not a time for you to feel bad or for self pity, it is a time find yourself, Love yourself and grow yourself. Find purpose, why are you on earth? Develope yourself, your character, your career, build a life for yourself. As a lady, build yourself and not depending on a guy to be complete. As a guy, develop yourself to be sustainable.
Finding your purpose should be the priority of every single because it is in purpose that you can pick correctly, when you are a person of purpose, you won’t settle for anyhow person because the person you will want to be with as to be someone that you can fulfill that purpose together. Scripture says “one shall chase a thousand and two ten thousand” The question is, have you started chasing your thousand?

Lastly, The question you even need to ask yourself is, Am i ready to be in a relationship? Relationship is a stepping stone into marriage, forget the pressure you receive from external forces, are you ready to get married, probably in the next 3years max? Are you ready emotionally, financially and mentally? How can you even handle a break up? How can you handle your emotions? Because I must tell you that being In a relationship can be so draining.

Take time to build yourself, package yourself, develop yourself in those areas you are lagging and when finally the person comes, you won’t ruin everything with some little flaws. Take time to build yourself. If you don’t build yourself now, even when the relationship finally comes, even if that person is the one, it can lead to a split up because you were not prepared.

Thank you for reading, please like and share, comment and also subscribe. God bless you, thanks for your support.

You can also follow me on my social media handle @obayemi_esther on Instagram. I love you.

THREE PROBABLE REASONS YOU ARE STILL SINGLE!

• 

  Are you single? Or have you been single for a while now and you are starting to wonder if something is wrong with you? Or you don’t even know why you are single? Then you need to read this post! It Is for you

There is seriously nothing bad  and wrong in being single as some people say, the question to ask is what are you doing as a single? Are you leveraging on the fact that you are a single? Being single simply means you have just your life to be concerned about, you aren’t committed to anybody, you don’t have to tell anybody your movement (except your parents) you have all the time to take care of yourself and grow yourself. Single means ‘one’ means you have your life to yourself. Well in this article, I will be sharing three reasons why you are probably still single and in my next write up, I will talk about how to leverage on your single life and the things to do in other to enjoy being single.
A lot of singles today are under pressure, pressure from family, society and friends, that period when they start asking you “when are you coming with a babe or boo?” or they start asking if nothing is wrong with you especially when you have clocked a certain age, probably in your twenties, they start being concerned and are like “but you are old enough to be in a relationship na”. Some are under pressure by what they see on social media, or what their friends do, because their mates are already in a relationship and you know ‘couple goals’ all the ‘public display of affection’ we see everywhere. Then you ask yourself GOD! WHY AM I STILL SINGLE!
The guys are like why are the girls not accepting my proposals or the Ladies are like, why are guys not asking me out enough or probably why have I not met the one!
A lot of people are still single because of different reasons, some include the fact that no one seem to be coming or probably you are not old enough to be in a relationship but if you are old enough, below are three probable  reasons you are single.

1) You do not package or position yourself well.
A lot of singles are too loosed, you act anyhow, talk anyhow, dress anyhow, you don’t place any sense of value on yourself, how do you sell yourself? What are your values? Are you an asset? Are you a kind of person that everyone would want to have in their life? How valuable are you or how valuable do you place yourself? What skills do you have? What are your strengths?  What do you have to offer? Or are you just you? Waiting for someone that will love you the way you are? How independent are you? Do you still have anger issues? I think you need to answer these questions and if you realize you are lagging in any of this, well the good  news is that it can be worked on because people today wants an asset not a liability, and if as your friend I cannot see your value. Forget it, I will never ask you out unless I just want to play around you. So work on yourself and package yourself well.

2) Your location is important
A lot of singles don’t mingle, you don’t go out, you lock yourself in door all day, you don’t network. It’s high time you start going out, go for conferences, network with people on social media, expand your connections, of course not by showing you’re desperate to be in a relationship but naturally train yourself to be friendly, take your time. Some, you are still in that local area you grew up, the same people you’ve known all your life are still the ones you know, and you’re complaining you’re single? You just started. So extend your connections and be friendly. Change your location, seek impact, volunteer and be friendly.

3) God is preparing you for the best
This is a major reason, a lot of people are asking “God when!” it could be that God is preparing you for the best, he’s working on you, he’s training you and maybe he’s working on your future spouse. But a lot of people out of pressure have skipped this process of training and drilling with God and settled for less.  Let God work on you, get busy with God, let him mould you and that way you become irresistible to people. Find what God wants and start doing it, get busy. He is preparing you for the best!
Conclusively, you are single so you can get yourself prepared, you’ll eventually get in a relationship someday and get married but if you are in a hurry or under pressure, you might miss it and start wishing you were single.

COMING NEXT
° Dealing with external pressures.

3 DANGERS OF SILENCE IN A RELATIONSHIP

Silence does not strengthen relationships, Infact it does not make the other person miss you more, it just has a way of gradually killing Relationships. There is a vibe that flows in every relationship; note that I’m not reffering to just a dating relationship. This vibe is what helps in communication, you know that excitement you have when you know you will see that person, talk to that person or even hear from that person, but then all of a sudden, for a reason you might not even know about, you feel a break and a distance between you and that person or those people( group of friends or family members) You become lost, confused and disheartened, it’s more painful when you don’t even know why and all of a sudden these person’s acts like they just don’t care  anymore. For we the emotional types we might start crying and it might even show and affect our communication with other people, considering that this is someone, or these are people you have shared a part of you with and all of a sudden, the wall you’ve taken time to build seems like it’s crumbling right before your face.

Many of us feel that we can starve our partner or friends with our silence(probably because we are hurt or unhappy about something) , so we intentionally stop giving them attention, stop showing we care and the likes, with the hope that they will come running after us!
Well! The good news is, it does not work that way. That mindset is very wrong in relationships.

One of the keys to a strong relationship is communication, but if for the fact that you’re unhappy about something then you start acting strange to your partner, the danger is that
1) You hurt the emotions of the other person
I have seen parents do that to their children, siblings to siblings, friends to friends, husband to wife and so on….
It is wrong! The person is hurt and it becomes more bad when the person is trying to come close to you again and rebuild the friendship but you keep shutting that person out, the next thing that happens is that

2) The person loses starts losing confidence in you
The person no longer feels that vibe and joy to talk to you, the person no longer feels safe with you, the person feels unloved, most Expecially when you’re acting fine without the person. And lastly

3) There’s a break in the friendship
The friendship tears apart, so much that when you now have a change of heart, the person is far already, probably the person had moved on. Then it’ll take extra effort to build such a friendship.

After looking at the dangers attached to silence in a relationship above, if truly you value that friendship
I suggest you stop keeping quiet and start communicating, rebuild the friendship
When hurt by a close person, because the truth is closer people are most likely to hurt you more than the other regular person’s. So What do you do?

Firstly, forgive the person. If you want to have a successful relationship, be it friendship relationship, romantic relationship or even business relationship’, you need to be a boss of your emotions, in sense that you can forgive easily. Don’t give room for offences as offenses as a way of destroying positive relationships.

Secondly, intentionally do things you both loved to do, act like a fool (why? Because you value that friendship, that means you will have to let go of your ego) Even though you are hurt, you don’t have to react to that person, instead respond

Then thirdly, you can make the person know what you don’t like, out of love! communicate with the person. Scripture says “Get ye the little foxes that spoils the vine”
Those little things? Funny thing is, the person might not even know
So talk it out! But prepare your mind, the person might not apologize, some people can be so funny, they can just laugh it off. I know how painful that can be but remember by doing that, you are growing up! And making progress
I strongly believe that there should not be anyone we can’t relate with, whether cool or sturborn, quiet or rash, Introvert or extrovert. Just understand one another and embrace the differences. We are made perfect in our differences which are our uniqueness.
And you gain mastery, by keeping the relationships around you. Because in this life ehn, people will offend you

But we move, by forgiving and still choosing to love.
But please note, some relationships might not be saved, in sense that some might just need to lead to a split up, probably for a moment. Just still attempt to save it and never leave a relationship (remember I said not just dating relationship) by slamming the door.

Thanks for reading, I love you

Why you need to be spiritual! must read

You know, most people think being spiritual means being shut off from the world, well this is what I mean (follow me)

Religiosity is far different from spirituality
Being religious is like the hardware of a phone while being spiritual deals more with the software, what you do on the inside….. Between you and God. Anyway, that’s not where I am going to

I have heard a lot of people say, I don’t wanna marry someone that’s spiritual, then I presume you want someone that is carnal? Obviously, the opposite of spiritual is carnality, you’re either spiritual or carnal

A lady once told me….
“the guy is cool” she said
“is he spiritual?” I asked, she became furious and said to me “not everybody will be spiritual o, some can actually just be moral… Must you carry church on your head?

I laughed 😂😂, What did she mean by that? I think most people are getting it wrong, what does it mean to be spiritual?

Bible says in Roman’s 1:12 “for as many as are led by the spirit of God, they are the sons of God”
It takes being spiritual to be led by the spirit of God. And you can only be led by being born again.
1cor 2:14 “a carnal man cannot receive spiritual things because they are foolishness unto him” . The opposite of being spiritual is being carnal…. To be carnal means to be led by senses and how you feel

So if he is not spiritual then he is carnal, led by his feelings, One day he will feel like slapping you and he will give you a hot slap…… Lol😂😂
Being spiritual is not determined by wearing suit all the time or by wearing long skirt or by not chilling
Some wouldn’t even go to beach, restaurants, see movies, they don’t even wear makeup (well that is their life)
Being spiritual doesn’t stop you, Like I said being spiritual means to be led by the spirit and when you have a walk with God, he will constrain you to and not do somethings
So the question is….. Is he leading you to that thing?

It is worthy of note that Man is a spirit that has a soul and lives in a body. When we got saved, we received his life and became new creations.
So when I ask, is he spiritual? I meant
Is he born again? Has he accepted Christ as his lord and savior? Is he constantly following God? How seriously does he take his walk with God?
Many ladies themselves are carnal, the reason they do not want a claimed spiritual guy is because of the carnal things they want to do in the relationship

Sisto! Be spiritual! Don’t be carnal in picking a spouse
Let us grow up spiritually… Remember the Bible says ‘Iron sharpens iron’

So ladies.. Amidst the rich. Tall… Dark and handsome qualities
Be with someone that you guys can chase ten thousands together…. Not someone that is busy chasing mosquitoes…… Lol
Raise kingdom generals….. Godly kids!

LET US BE SPIRITUAL ABEG!
WE ARE BELIEVERS!

CALM DOWN! MUST YOU SHOW YOURSELF?

As Christians, we need to be discerning

Everything that happens does not just happen,there is always a force behind every action, let us take for example, Someone who on a normal day does not insult you, comes all of a sudden and starts insulting you, trying to frustrate you. In that situation what do you do?
The Bible says “walk in the spirit and you shall not fulfill the dictates of the flesh”

Love sharpens our ability to discern, now here is what I mean
To walk in the spirit, is to walk in love
Well I learnt this from Kenneth Hagin “Love the way to victory” this book changed my life

So, there are many times the flesh would want to react, You know how dare she talk to me like that? What nonsense! And the likes but if you are walking in love and that kind of situation comes at you, You’ll chill! The flesh might want to react but the Bible says “the love of Christ constrains us”
Then you look at the person and love on the person.

Sometimes the person could be reacting because the person is going through something and is looking for the available person to throw the aggression on, Maybe you were the scape goat

You are able to discern if the person needs help or not when you are walking in love, I feel we shouldn’t react to everything, of course there are times to react, but let it be done in love, not out of the flesh

Lastly, earlier today a lady chatted me and is like my post used to bless her but sometimes it’s annoying, She went further to start saying that I’m a disgrace and stuffs like that. God! The flesh wanted to come out because this was a girl I used to teach God’s word, I wanted to bless her with some word of lashing… I would’ve blasted her then blocked her
But then, The love of God constrains us….
I just knew something was wrong somewhere

Situations like this happens everyday… In the community, bus, office, home, everywhere!
Let us cultivate the love life
It’ll save us unnecessary high blood pressure
LOL…. Thanks

#Wednesday #lovewalk #queen
#BELIEVER #Gospel #lagos
#Happy

The father vacumn

You know,
While growing up, I grew up with a pain
Some sense of loneliness and hurt
Each time I looked at other people of my age famzing their fathers and all
It hurts me so much thst I’d cry because i grew up without having my biological father around me. I don’t know if you also have that experience, probably you grew up not knowing your father, or maybe your father wasn’t there for you when you needed him or probably he passed away.

But then, I got to a stage in my life
When I realized that I might not have my biological father around but I have someone who truly and genuinely cares for me
So much that he gave his son for me.

I was wallowing in ignorance, pain, anger, wrath, loneliness, hatred towards the people who meant no harm but this man gave his only begotten for me, he came and saved me from that lonely pit I was

This man died for me even before I existed
I was so far from him but he pulled me close and called me his
Just by knowing this fact that I am forever loved, forever in his presence quickly brought light into the darkness I had hid myselff

He said to me that he will never leave me nor forsake me

My father is eternal, unchanging, unfailing, he cannot cease to exist because he is life! His love is more than what anybody can ever give to me
I was searching for something that was never lost, I tried feeling that vacuum with different things….. Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Family? Friends? Father?

But no! that vacumn could only be filled by his love, the knowledge of his love….. He totally transformed my life

So happy fathers day to that One who loved me to the point of death and life…….. I AM HIS FOREVER

Practical steps to prevailing in a world of decadence.

I wonder and brood over this extreme painful thought, why is it so hard to find someone who is different from the other’s, someone whose mind is made up, not to compromise

I have seen a lot of people say, oh I will never cheat, I would never engage in this immoral act or that, these people even go as far as condemning the people in those acts but in a split of a second, we find them doing that very thing they vow not to do. Then I ask myself. Why? Probably, you have also asked yourself that question too

It looks as though there are no moral persons out there, of course i know it’s not true but where are they? Missing? Lost in the crowd? Compromised?

Are there no persons who can stand the test of time? No one to say a NO to corruption, fraud, deceit, cheating, cyber crime and the likes? I know the state of Nigeria is not encouraging right now because most times when you ask these people their reason, they will answer and say *frustration*
Although most of the times, it’s done out of their impatience, greed and lack of trust in God but of course we know the state of Nigeria now is not encouraging

But can we have young people who would decide like Daniel not to defile themselves with the portion of the king’s meat?
Youths, who would rather choose to stay with God, to stay and believe his Word, irrespective of what comes at them!

Now I realize, it is not enough to have good ethics, it takes the power of the holy ghost to say a NO! And that No remains a No, unwavering and unchanging. There are temptations everywhere, distractions everyday, but can we be a generation to say NO to bribery, corruption, lies, fraud, sexual impurity and the likes? We want a change right? But we can never make that change if we act just like our leaders does

Youths are the future leaders
Let us refuse to destroy our future because of the petty little things of today, It is not easy I know but let us stay and make a change!
Stay with God
Stay with right teachings
Stay with the truth!
Stay with Morality

Let’s not take the easy route
Let’s not follow the crowd and saying of other’s are doing it, Let’s dare to be different!
And for those of us that are Christians, Bible has made us understand in Roman’s 8:28 that “all things works together for good to them that loves God and to them that are called according to his purpose”  So there’s no pressure of the future, The devil is a bastard and a lier, he comes presenting fufu in an iPhone 11 case (if you know what I mean)
God calls life out of dead things
Be bold! Be strong! Don’t compromise!
Trust in God!

THE WORLD WE LIVE IN.

Dear Reader,

Welcome to the world we live in, a world where the wrong thing suddenly feels like the right thing to do, a world where Morality keeps reducing on a daily basis an immorality taking the lead, a world where people no longer care about what is the right thing to do but choose to satisfy their cravings and lust. Many has forgotten who they are in a bit to satisfy the god of this world, the god of social media, they want to feel among their peers and does not want to be left behind.

We live in a world where we see young boys engage in Cyber-Crime as they call it “yahoo yahoo” which no iota of guilt, they call it hustling. The rate at which people engage in this act is so apaling, so much that it has become a norm, we see young boys who are meant to be leaders of tomorrow engage in this act of indecency, guys as young as 16 years of age are seen doing this, and guess what? it is seen as normal, it has suddenly become an accepted conduct even by most parents.
We see young ladies engage in immoral acts such as premarital sex and even go so far as abortion, parents and family even encourage them. Sex is now seen as a bond of perfection between boyfriend and girlfriend. It looks so normal and expedient, if not there’s no sign of commitment.

I could go on and on endlessly, it causes great pain in my heart when I see young people live their life as though they have a spare, they have blended with the norm, forgetting who they are and letting their experience define who they are. Many don’t even know who they are, they don’t have a purpose for living, they have no dream! No vision! No aspirations! Nothing!. Many a time I weep as I just feel this pain in my heart for them. Cheating, prostitution, fraud, deceit, betrayal, theft, rape, murder and every irresponsible act is mostly found amongst the youth and now even the younger generations are starting to tune in to the frequency.
It is said that when the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do? Well I’ll say “Get the right knowledge”

All these is happening because people don’t know who they are and few lost sight of who they are. We need to start by finding out who we are amongst the crowd and choose not to follow the crowd. The fact that a close friend is doing it and it looks right is not a license its right, or a proof that it’s okay to go into it.

Why not dare to be different? In this perverse world? Why not decide not to follow the crowd? There’s this mindset amongst youths that causes immorality… It is the idea of “everyone is doing it” why not break that mindset! Choose to be godly, choose to stay pure! Holiness is not an unattainable height my dear

You start by finding your purpose, everyone on Earth has a purpose, no one is a mistake…. God was intentional when he made you and I tell you that he knows you, even to your name, even your address…. It looks funny but it’s true. You are created to solve a problem, you have a great destiny but if you don’t realize you won’t be able to actualize and that way you are carried away by the norms thereby leading to you living less of what you are created to be.

On my next write up, I’ll be sharing on how to realize your purpose, then how to act on your purpose and stand out. Thank you

What to do when you fail

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU FAIL by Obayemi Esther |“failure is success if we learn from it”
Think about this, have you ever wanted so desperately to do something for example you had a great idea like a business idea or to write a book; you take the shot and failed or are you perhaps facing that now? There is every possibility to fail when you embark on a journey, there is this famous quote I love “Trying something new means embracing new failure” ill ask you, what do you do when you fail?
It must firstly be established that failure can be very hurtful leaving feelings of pain or regret, then questions questions like ‘why did I even do this?’ arises. Failure has away of stirring up insecurity and fear, the fear of the unknown. Failing should not make you stop just like the quote I used to introduce this article. Let us take a careful thought on the success story of Thomas Edison, he failed 10,000 times but look at him, the attitude he gave- he kept saying oh yeah I’m closer, I can do better; Attitude! The attitude or reaction you give matters. Thomas Edison had an extraordinary positive perception of life which greatly enhanced his ability as an inventor

“I can accept failure since everyone fails at something but I cannot accept not
trying” Michael Jordan

Failure is not the opposite of succes, it is a part of success so when I experience failure if you were to ask me, here is what I do

• I admit I failed, I must’ve made a mistake somewhere

• Secondly I give myself the right orientation, I don’t allow the failure overwhelm me, failing doesn’t mean I am a failure, all I do is trace my step and do better next time learning from my mistake. Every successful person I see today once failed in some areas of their lives, this is an understanding I have and it pushes me to greater heights.

• Thirdly, I ask myself the big question ‘what next’

The big question you should ask yourself is ‘What next’ that is the winning attitude, the right attitude to give when you experience failure, not letting it change your placement of heart but change your circumstance with the right placement of your heart, that is how to deal with failure and lastly you need to know success is for brave people. ARE YOU READY TO EMBRACE BOLDNESS OVER COWARDNESS? The choice is yours
❤️❤️❤️❤️